1. Sitting at your PC discussing Facebook shit via Facebook messenger with a friend you met online is totally IN (and you shouldn’t even feel awakward that you don’t have a real life anymore – who needs people anyway BASTERDS?!)
2. People have become outrageously shy, and I swear to God it’s only YM and Facebook’s fault. It’s like sixteen years ago you were just sitting in the school courtyard chatting to your girl mates or smiling at him hoping to get his attenting while now you’re ass stuck in your bedroom reblogging at least 150 weheartit pictures a day and growing an inner dementia driven by that “omg should i poke him? should i like his pic? should i make better profile pictures?”. YO! Do you have any idea how fucked up that is, btw?
3. Nobody’s ugly via Facebook! It’s super puff perfection all over the place, like Photoshop dropped its jaw and let everyone in. NOBODY will post a real picture, unless they look like an airbrushed supermod or they don’t CARE – which totally means they’re on Facebook for no plausible, normal, mainstream reason – case closed.
4. Everybody strikes a pose. In every picture, I swear, you’re gonna see the same damn pose, it’s like someone played your face on repeat for a few years now!
5. Getting in touch with all the douchebags in junior high is awesome and the best part is that they can see your crazy rant about them via Facebook through this post!
I haven’t seen The Social Network yet but I’ll get by.
ps. I was inspired by imboycrazy on this and I don’t mean to copy (which is pretty obvious since the content is fully original), I just tried to figure if I can put up with sorts of short writing other than the one I’m used to.