1. Please be selfish and stop doing things you hate just to please others. Nobody actually gives a shit! (that coming from a manic control freak who’d do anything to be okay with everyone she cares for).
2. It doesn’t matter how bright, smart, good looking, stylish or slender you are – if the person next to you can’t or doesn’t want to see all that then you’re technically dead.
3. Wearing knitted hot pants on a rainy day with a boyfriend blazer over a silky top with messed brown hair is the new Carrie Bradshaw.
4. Girls like boys who have manners. So stop being such a stubborn thick ass and deliver!
5. If you’re in a 24/7 relationship or even just fuck buddies and he doesn’t want to have sex with you then he’s totally not into you/screwing someone else/a complete asshole/has an intimacy issue*.
6. Do yourself a favor and be good to others, at east in fucking December. It’s Christmas, New Year’s and all that, you people. Get over yourselves and start giving! Make the tree, drink till you drop, have fun, eat for the whole wide year and put the super skinny zero sizes away..nobody actually cares about your butt. It only happens once a year. Yeah, you get like 50+ of those in a lifetime, but hey, you’re gonna be so sorry after you realize you can count on two fingers the happy ones. Word!
*except for the case you live with your parents.